To the Mama Who Doesn’t Know How To Feel

After returning home from the hospital in October, my husband and I decided I needed to take time off work. I had no idea that my 6-week leave would turn into more than just that as we moved shortly thereafter.

I thought I would never return back to work and I didn’t know how to feel about it.

I had worked so hard all through nursing school to get to where I was. I switched jobs to work on the Mother/Baby Unit so that I would eventually be able to make the transition to becoming a Labor & Delivery Nurse. I went from working day to night shifts so I could reach my goal, which was hard enough in itself.

To me, all of that had been thrown out the window and I mourned my loss hard.

I felt horrible because I wasn’t enjoying being a stay-at-home mama; there are so many mamas that would kill to do just that.

What was wrong with me?

Over time… I began to flourish in my role as a stay-at-home mama. I loved that I had time to be consistent with my workout routine. I loved that I could sit and do crafts with O because I didn’t have a million other things to do. I loved that I could prepare nutritious foods for my family. I loved that I knew exactly the right schedule that O boy needed and came to expect everyday. I gave him that, and I will forever be grateful for that.

Fast forward to now.

I am returning to work full-time today as a Labor & Delivery Nurse….

and I don’t know how to feel about it.

I am so grateful that I get this opportunity because this is what I want to do and where God needs me right now. We have prayed, pondered, talked it to death, and prayed some more about it. This makes sense for our little family. I am grateful I have my nursing degree so I can go back to work while my husband finishes school.

With all of that being said, I wanted to write an open letter to the mama who doesn’t know how to feel about her current role.

To the mama who stays home: I know it is hard and not always enjoyable. Think about the opportunity you have to raise these precious little ones.

There will come a day when those little ones won’t be there any more and you will be sad about it.

Don’t forget to take time for yourself because it is important. Find something you enjoy doing that can help you to feel more like you.

Just because it is hard now, and you don’t know how you feel about staying home, you are still a good mama and always will be.

To the mama who goes to work: Isn’t it incredible that you can help provide for your family? On days when it is hard to leave because your kiddos want you home, don’t forget that you are helping provide them with a brighter future.

Give it your all in the workplace. But when you leave, give it your all in your home. For that is what truly matters

Never forget your motivation as to why you are working.

Just because it is hard now, and you don’t know how you feel about working, you are still a good mama and always will be.


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